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Today I had a little mini and mostly internal breakdown. At this point I've worked six out of the last seven days and the last three of those days I've worked two jobs. I feel like all I do is work and when I'm not working I'm getting ready for work or traveling to work. I'm also finishing up my degree by taking one more pesky class. It's usually a breeze but I have a short paper due this week so I've been stressing about that as well. AND I have to travel an hour away to take the class once a week.
Why am I telling you all of this? Am I looking for sympathy? Well…maybe a little. But mostly I'm here to talk about how sometimes, life is hard but that can be a good thing.
I knew this day would come. I knew there would be a time when I was too busy, too stressed, too reliant on only myself and therefore would need to let myself have a mini breakdown. As I stood in the stock room at work today letting myself stress over how tired I was and how long it was going to take me to get home, where I'd inevitably need to go straight to bed, and how my paper wasn't even started and everything else…I felt the tears begin to well up but I didn't let them come.
Even on the verge of tears I took a second to remind myself: I wanted this. This is what I want. I want to work hard and take care of my bills on my own (and boy do I have a heck of a paycheque coming my way soon). I want to be independent and busy busy busy. So I took a second to be grateful for my life as it is, even with all it's silly little imperfections.
Another thing I can be grateful for: an amazing best friend who I swear has some kind of sixth sense because she offered to pick me up from work tonight, on a night when I most definitely needed it.
Life is still good, even when we just need to have a short and silent cry while standing over a box full of bras in a stock room.
From the desk of:
Taylor Brown
Feeler of all of the Feelings
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