Books of 2018

Welcome to my favourite (and only consistent) blog post each year!

This year I had a goal to read 12 books but guess what: I didn't. I read 11 and that's just the way it is sometimes. I will say that I did start about 10 other books that I either got bored with, am currently half through, or found something I wanted to read more. My currently reading and to-be-read piles may never empty.

I continued to get into audiobooks this year. Don't get my wrong- I do not consider this technically reading- but if you should choose to read these books because of my recommendation then more power to yah!

I definitely had some great reads this year, some re-reads and some serious p.o.s's (in my humble opinion) so without further adieu, here are my 2018 reads:

1. Nocturnal Animals- Austin Wright

This was the first book I read in 2018 and that really blows my mind because I started it in April. What a lazy, hazy beginning of the year I had!

I was super excited about this book when I first started it. The premise is that a man is sending his book manuscript to his ex-wife and she is reading it throughout. You bounce between the ex-wife's life/reality and the book manuscript. The book manuscript was super interesting (at first) and really jumps into the action right away. It also did a great job of making you feel super anxious and getting you into the characters' feelings.

I spent the entire book being super excited for when everything was going to come to a head and then it just didn't. There was no big payoff. No point when everything was explained or addresssed. It was quite an unsatisfying read.

2. The Child Finder- Rene Denfeld 

Now this was a beautiful book.

It's about a woman who has an amazing knack for finding lost or kindnapped children, because she was kidnapped as a child, herself, even though she can't remember anything but her escape. In the book she searches after  a little girl who went missing in the woods. The books goes back and forth between The Child Finder's point of view and the little girls. It was really a beautiful book and I loved the parts from the little girl's point of view. It really reminded me of ROOM.

3. I'll Be Gone in the Dark- Michelle McNamara

This book is my #1 pick from the year. It was incredibly amazing.

Michelle McNamara spent years researching, searching for and writing about The Golden State Killer. She even gave him his name when she realized he was being referred to at the East Area Rapist and the Original Night Stalker. Michelle died suddenly in 2016 before she could finish her book. Her husband and a couple of her researchers pieced the book together with what she had- which was amazing because even in her pieced-together and unfinished chapters we still didn't lose Michelle's voice throughout.

This book was honestly terrifying. I've never gotten scared from a book before but this book made me check my locked doors and close my curtains at night. I think that's an amazing testament to Michelle's writing and this insane story.

When I finished the book I was so frustrated with the fact that this crime still hasn't been solved. I couldn't have imagined what people who had been working on this crime for decades felt. Amazingly THEY CAUGHT THE GOLDEN STATE KILLER THIS YEAR! This was one of the most satifying endings I could have imagined.

If you like true crime read.this.book!

4. Down the Rabbit Hole- Holly Madison

As you know, I have almost no shame in what I'll read. If it's well written and interesting I'll take it (this is why 50 Shades of Grey got a chance but then was subsequently burned for terrible, unforgivably awfully writing- I mean come on E.L get yourself a damn thesaurus PLZ).

I'm fascinated by tell-alls by people from truly bizarre worlds so Holly Madison's look into the Playboy Mansion has been on my to-read list for a long time.

The book is definitely a tell-all and Holly doesn't hold back. She shares every dirty detail inside and outside the Mansion and basically smears Hef, the Girls and even her later boyfriend Chris Angel. I was all for it. She obviously manages to come out smelling like roses and it was obvious that she was doing everything to paint herself that way. If nothing else this was a fun read that entertained me as much as a good gossip sesh.

5. Hunger- Roxanne Gay

This book was a real hearbreaker.

Roxanne Gay wrote about her experience being morbidly obese and navigating her way through the world in a body that people don't understand or accept. She shares the childhood trauma that led her to wage a war on her body and cause her to feel the need to control her feelings and create an uncontrollable comfort in food.

This book was a tough read because it really puts you in her mindset of exhaustion, defeat and embarrassment. It also brought to light a lot of considerations that as a non-obese person, most of us don't see. She also brought sympathy and a sense of realness to a topic that to be honest, most people, including Roxanne herself, don't always have a lot of sympathy for.

I would definitely recommend Roxanne's work- especially if you're looking to be challenged and broken open.

6. Brave Enough- Cheryl Strayed

Cheryl Strayed is one of my personal heroes. She wrote Wild, which I listened to last year, about her experience hiking the Pacific Crest Trail. She is also one of the most wise, nurturing, truthful and amazing people I've ever read. I even bought a book of her book of quotes, Brave Enough, this year and basked in her wisdom!

She wrote an advice column and I was super excited to read her compelation of columns in this book. I really loved her advice and the way she treated each person with so much love, while also hitting them with the tough stuff when they needed it.

7. Party Monster- James St. James

Speaking of bizarre lives: this one was definitely a doozy.

Party Monster is the true story of the murder of Angel Melendez. It takes place in the 90s New York City Club Kid world where drugs were flowing, costumes were the uniform and everyone basically seems like they're living in the world of Gossip Girl but meaner, and dirtier, and hazier.

This was a fun and interesting ready, if not a bit hyper since the writer was very liberal with WRITING IN ALL CAPS. It was definitely an interesting look into the post-Studio 54 days in New York City where people wanted to be wild and to stand out. Basically, these club kids paved the way for a lot of the amazing drag we now see on Ru Paul's Drag Race. It was a cool look at a counter-culture and definitely made me never want to try ketamine (or Special K) but it did make me want to paint blue dots on my face and walk into a club while greeting every single person, even if I don't know them.

Most importantly: this book was originally titled Disco Bloodbath and that is the best band name I've ever heard. Someone puhlease make this band. I'll support you forever.

8. Little Fires Everywhere- Celeste Ng

I said it last year when I read Everything I Never Told You: Celeste Ng is a beautiful writer and she completely gets the simmering dynamics of families. She writes stories that remind you of your life and the slight injustices and moments of misunderstanding that happen within a family and shape who you are and how you understand the people you love.

I loved spending many of my summer afternoons reading this book and wrapping myself up in a blanket of sadness for all the characters.

9. I Am The Messenger- Marcus Zusak

A lot of people know Marcus Zusak as the author of The Book Thief but I'll choose I Am The Messenger over that any day- even if I've never truly understood the ending of this book (and still don't).

The story is about an average guy who starts receiving Aces in the mail. Each Aces has three different people on it that he has to find and help. It's one of my favourite books and has been since I first read it in higschool. This book is pure magic and it makes me so happy, heartbroken, and everything in between every single time I read it (which has been about 10 times by now).

Seriously, read this book!

10. Whoever Fights Monsters-Robert Ressler and Tom Shachtman

I actually started this book near the end of last year, put it down for most of this year and finally finished this November. I have no idea why I put it down because it's.so.good!

Since I was a kid I've been fascinated with criminal profiling. This is when a detective can look at a crime and can tell the police what the person most likely looks like, where they most likely live, what they most likely do and so much more. It's definitely not a perfect art and they get it wrong a lot but the things they do get right are amazing. I spent a lot of this book slapping Jordan on the arm and re-telling him what I just read. I honestly think criminal profiling is just the coolest.

11. Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs- Chuck Kolsterman

Now listen, you know I love a good piece of pop culture gossip and I'm also a big fan of dissecting why people are they way they are so I figured this book would be a no-brainer because it's just essays on pop culture. It breaks down The Real Wold, cover bands, journalists, serial killers and a lot more. Unfortunately this book easily dates itself (it was written in the early 2000s and a lot of his pop culture references flew right over my head). That didn't keep me from enjoying most of the book though, especially his essay about serial killers because, obviously.

I did, however, find the author to be a bit of an asshole, which I think he's well aware of. He came off as the type of guy who would debate anything with you and in the end do his best to make you feel like you were dumb. He also said some offensive things that I'll chalk up to being from a time before we were so #woke. I wouldn't fault him for his rude 'tude if he were at least 25% funnier about it since my moto is: if you're gonna be offensive you have to at least be hilarious.

My final feeling on the matter is: he's no Jon Ronson.

In addition to reading a bunch of books this year, I also listened to a few as well! (Don't worry- I don't  consider this "reading"- that kind of thinking would be sacrilege).


Listened:

1. Strange Piece of Paradise- Terri Jentz

This ended up being one of my favourite books this year.

In 1977 Terri Jentz was on a cross-country bike trip with a friend when a man ran over their tent with his pickup truck and hacked each of them with an axe. They both lived and while Terri's friend didn't remember a thing and didn't want to- Terri was left to experience and remember the ordeal alone. 15 years after the attack she went back to the small town in Oregon where it happened and went to investigate her own attempted murder.

I loved this book a lot. It's completely gutting and frustrating- like most true crime. Terri is so brave and strong and her story was an amazing one to hear. I highly recommend this book!

2. Behind Closed Doors- B.A Paris

This was one of those books that I had seen so many people read and recommend that I finally gave in and decided to listen to it. Boy, was I disappointed.

The story was about an abusive marriage and I honestly just found it completely unrealistic and silly. The villain in the story- the husband- was always dramatically monologuing his master plan and it all came off incredibly dumb. I don't think you need to get that out-there with a story like this to help the reader understand the fact that abusive relationships are terrifying. I thought this would be a great psychological thriller that really delved into abusive marriages but in the end it was more like watching an episode of children's television where the villain is always "trying to take over the world" for some undeveloped reason. Also, the writing left much to be desired. Boo to this book. BOO!

3. To Shake the Sleeping Self- Jedidiah Jenkins

I'm a big fan of books about people testing their limits, especially against themselves and nature. I especially love books about people hiking or traveling across great expanses (like Wild or Girl in the Woods), so this book was a no-brainer for me.

At 30 Jedidiah Jenkins decided to bicycle over 14,000 miles from Oregon to Patagonia (the southern most tip of South America). The story was super inspiring (and definitely helped me push myself at the gym while I listened to it- you just can't quit running early when you know there's someone in the world who biked for over a year). I like Jed's honestly throughout the story and his quest to find himself and understand his relationships. The booked faded a little near the end and got a little bit boring but the last couple chapters brought it back. I'd definitely recommend this book and Jed read the book on tape himself so that was a fun surprise.

Well pals, those are my books from this year. I definitely read less than I hoped to (I didn't even finish my first book this year until April!) In 2019 I've set my goal to read 12 books (one for each month), though I do hope I surpass it!

Hope you enjoyed my annual book club!

From the desk of:

Taylor Brown
Bibliophile

Thoughts on 27

<< Kurt Cobain: because when I think of 27, this is who I think of >>

Twenty-seven. Sounds kind of old doesn't? And also very young. I think about what my 15-year-old self would think about 27 and I think my 15-year-old self would say I was old when I hit 25. My 15-year-old-self didn't know very much about very much, though. Either does my 26-year-old self, to be honest.

These late twenties are a real weird time. I feel so very adult and so very young at the same time. I own a home with my boyfriend, I buy groceries every week, keep a cat alive, do yard work and think watering my plants is *relaxing* and have traded in house parties for cocktails and microbreweries. It all feels very adult. 

And yet...

I still feel urges to spend all of my paychecks on makeup, and books, and new clothes, like I used to in highschool. I still think anything over $50 is a lot of money to spend at once. I still get freaked out thinking about having a car payment or the fact that if I wreck said car my parents won't be there to pick up the pieces (or the bill). I still can't imagine having a baby or getting married or even taking care of a dog. I still feel like an angsty teenager when people ask me about, or tell me I should get the dog or get married or have the kid. 

I said last week that I don't feel like I'll ever truly feel like an adult until I have a kid...followed up with the answer "I've just haven't had the urge yet" to the question "Do you want kids?" Truly though, I just can't picture myself making that decision. It seems too big. Too adult. Totally huge.

I've been lucky to have never wanted to be any older than I am. A lot of our youth is spent wishing we were older but for me, I held on tight to my youth. It is a comforting thought to know there's so much more ahead than there is behind. So much you don't need to rush to. So much that can wait.

I still don't feel that rush, especially not to get closer to 30 than to 20 (whoops, I'm there). As a testament to my childish ways: the real reason I want to turn 27 is for birthday gifts. *Eternal child syndrome*

I never thought I would be the type of person who cared about getting older since I was never in any rush to. I didn't think I'd mourn the loss of my youth either, though. To be honest, it's starting to get real. I have permanent forehead wrinkles, y'all. Seriously, where did these dang creases come from?! But again, it's very unreal. All in my head, even if it is visibly, on my head.  

Another year will come whether I like it or not so for now, I'm going to wear my Nirvana shirt like the angsty teenager I will always be inside and revel in my mixed moments of adulthood, and persistent childhood while I still can:

From the desk of:

Taylor Brown

I'm Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman

Honest to Blog

Do I even blog anymore? Why is this blog even here? I don't know, except that I like it and I wish I updated it more and maybe it's annoying to hear someone apologize for something they probably won't change but here I am.

Things have been mighty busy in these parts but mighty good.

To begin with Jordan and I watched my parents dog, Gus, in hopes of seeing if he and Pete would get along so we could keep him for a month in January when my parents go away. No luck. They are mortal enemies...or should I say: Gus is Pete's mortal enemy.

Gus would be sitting on his bed wagging his tail like a dope and Pete would be skulking around in the background planning his attack. It provided a lot of entertainment for Jord and I but when Gus got too comfortable and starting chasing Peter around and making him go all "Halloween Cat" we started to get worried for Gus' well being- mostly for the eyes I'm sure my mom would hate for Pete to claw out. Also, Jordan and I went to go for a run at 7am on a Saturday (I know- the mere fact that we had the strength to do so was a huge feat) and Gus began howling while we were closing the door - kind of sealed his fate. Our downstairs tenants do not need that and we are come and go type people who can't be expected not to leave our house whenever we want to so, sorry Gus, guess it's a dog sitter for you!

A really happy thing that's happened is that I've been jogging again!

I've never played a sport or been on any type of team but since high school I have always called myself a runner. When we got our house I stopped running because we were too busy and when we joined a run club last year I quit running altogether. Being forced to run twice a week at a pace that wasn't my own really stressed my mind and body out and I haven't wanted to run again- until now.

I've been lacing up my sneakers for a couple weeks now, going at my own pace and I'm finally feeling that runner's high that I used to before. I am loving running because I want to again and it's making me get out there more than I have in years. Hooray for finding my groove again!

Equally special and happy happenings: Jordan and I have been going on lots of dates lately.

We've started a weekly date night where we have to plan a date for each other every other week. The first week Jordan took us out for Korean BBQ (thanking the heavens we didn't give ourselves salmonella seeing as we had to grill own meat!) The second week I took us to see Weird Science (best 80s movie ever!) at the Apollo. Last week Jordan took us out for a Paint Nite and I mean, I think I won the contest for who's a better artist. I take serious pride in my tree skills here. My next date night I'm taking us to a workout class at the trampoline gym. When I told Jordan it went like this:

Me: I have our next date night planned!
Jordan: What is it?!
Me: A workout class
Jordan : *pure dissapointment face*
Me: At Skyzone!
Jordan: *pure joy face*

Besides that I've been studying a lot for my mutual fund course (ugh, so boring).

It will definitely help me at work since I work with mutual funds 99.9% of the time but geeze, I sure do hate studying.

I've also been taking a lot of time for relaxation after a crazy year of going to Hawaii (omg, favourite place on the planet) and then taking a last minute trip to China (how does that even happen!?) We're pretty tuckered out by all the amazing things that have happened so far this year so I'm trying to keep all my weeknights free (and even my weekends if I can) to just be at home. I am ready for a slow season of life, please.

I hope you enjoyed this little life update. I miss writing. I'll try my best to come back and keep checking in. Maybe I'll even share some pictures from our trips this year- stay tuned!

From the desk of:

Taylor Brown
Check-in Champion

Whole30 Round 3: It's Over?

Wowowowowow. That went so fast.

I know it's easy to say that in hindsight, but it really did.

This has most definitely been my best and very favourite Whole30 yet. I mean, my first Whole30 definitely was full of more effort for food variety but I have never felt the results from a Whole30 that I'm feeling now.

So here's what I'm coming out of Whole30 with this time:

- The biggest and best result I've seen on this Whole30 is the insane energy. I've eaten very healthy before and all that blah blah and I've never felt my energy change so much. I seriously used to roll my eyes at weight loss commercials where Dads would be like "I can play catch with my kid again!" I am now that Dad.

- Hand in hand with the energy is the fact that I feel like my head is so much clearer than it was before. I used to go through my days feeling incredibly foggy, tired, and grumpy. This Whole30 has made me feel so awake, on the ball, and motivated. I used to nap at least three nights a week and I haven't napped since the first week of my Whole30. I get so much done because I'm not physically and mentally tired after work each day. I also feel that without that fog in my head I'm better at my job(s), I'm a generally nicer person and therefore a better partner.

- I feel physically amazing. Before my Whole30 I was feeling shitty inside and out. I've gotten back a lot of confidence in myself by taking my body into my own hands. I've been catching myself in the mirror and being like "hayyy girl, slayyyy." You know?

- I've been a lot more motivated to go to the gym and have felt I'm getting more out of my workouts. Now that my food is fuel it really is fueling my body. I am able to do more at the gym than I could before. I'm definitely not breaking any records here but I am impressing myself most days so that's a plus. (Sidebar: I also went to the gym without eating any protein on Saturday because I'm an ill-prepared idiot and I did the stair climber for twenty minutes and I almost puked and passed out so like I said, definitely not peak physical condition and definitely need those foods to fuel me).

- I've gotten my hunger and food obsession under control. I love food. I can't help it. It tastes good. Now that I have spent the last month getting as excited about eating as I do about filling my gas tank I've realized that I'm not hungry just because it's noon anymore and that I eat a lot less because when it's not the most delicious thing on the planet you really have no reason to finish it unless you're truly hungry.

My next step is to continue to live Whole30ish. I'm going to re-introduce foods slowly and see how they affect me and then continue to keep a lot of the good habits I've built over this last month.

Things that will stay:

- Green smoothies. These are basically the most delicious things I eat and I've been working on making sure they're full of healthy things like spinach and avocado. They're here to stay.
- Prepping protein and vegetables each week. I've been pretty good at making sure I've got lots of protein in each meal and a side of vegetables (even if I'm continually eating the same things over and over).

- Low sugar but lots of fruit. I think that's been the culprit for my poor energy in the past so I think I'm going to work on keeping the sugar low for the time being.

Ah another Whole30 blogged and in the books. Feels good to say I did it again...I could also possibly be thinking about when my next one will be because I am riding this wave so hard right now.

Until next time:

Taylor Brown
Whole30 Addict

Whole30 Round 3: WOAH We're Half Way There

<< An actual picture of me with tiger blood: aka the feeling you get on Whole30 when you have SO much energy and you can do anything because you ain't got sugar holding you back>>

My January Whole30 is over halfway done and I'm feeling so good!

During my first Whole30 when I was half done I wrote: Woah we're half way thereeee! Wooahhhh living on a pearrrr! I still find that very funny *personal back pat*

<< I rewarded myself so hard with a new lulu sweater and I was feeeeelinggg myself.
Also my house is a cluster of things in the middle of every room because: painting >>

This is the first Whole30 where I've actually seen the difference in energy that I've heard so much about (aka tiger blood). I honestly feel so energetic, so positive and even stronger. It's very weird. There are a few things I did at the gym before Christmas that were super hard. I went back and did them again on the Whole30 and they where weirdly easier. I don't know if it's all in my head but it's amazing.

Another strange side effect: I think the Whole30 is making me a better person. Hear me out. I'm feeling super energetic and awake (which is a big deal for me, guys- I'm usually SO tired. Like cranky tired. Like need a nap after work tired. Like a celebrity getting checked into Cedar Sinai for exhaustion tired). On the Whole30 I don't need any naps. I'm not super foggy. Most importantly- I'm not super cranky. Ifso facto: better person.

Now for the bad news: I told myself that if the choice was between starving myself and eating something that may be noncompliant I told myself I would have to bend the rules. I'm doing this to be healthy, not to undernourish myself. So last night we were out and running around and I wasn't going to have time to stop home and grab food before I had to go out again so we decided to eat out. We chose Pita Pit so I could get a salad with chicken breast. I tried my best to stay compliant: I ordered a garden salad with chicken breast and a balsamic vinaigrette. I knew I may be getting something with sugar in it but I had to eat! Well, I'm pretty sure there was some sugar in the vinaigrette because I was super tired and foggy the next day. It's SUCH a bummer 1) because I hate breaking the rules and 2) because it's actually crazy how much a little bit of sugar is effecting me. It's good to know that sugar is a culprit for why I feel the way I feel sometimes but honestly, SUGAR? Can't I just intolerant to gluten or something? Sugar is in everything AND it's amazing!

I've been continuing on in spite of that awful day and back on my usually scheduled meals. Here's one:

<< Smoothies and sweet potatoes and my lifeboats, people >>

Other than living the Whole30 I went to the gym quite a bit last week and it felt super good. We had our house painted this week. It turned out so amazing. Now I just have to put house back together! And I'm getting my tattoo this weekend (internally screams in a mixture of excitement and anxiety).

May your week be filled with happiness and your body tolerant to sugar!

From the desk of:

Taylor Brown
Sugar Demon

Whole30 Round 3: We Almost One Third Done Y'all!

Hey Hi Hello!

I'm officially on day nine of the January Whole30 and so far I haven't had any major meltdowns, tests of my will, or moments of complete misery *knocks on wood, throws salt over left shoulder, sprinkles holy water*

I'm feeling really good so far and I haven't gotten too bored with food yet, although I am missing honey oddly enough (I just really love honey balsamic Brussel sprouts). Oh and Ketchup, I will forever miss ketchup. Still haven't made my own so I guess that's my own damn fault.

I just got over the sleepy phase of the Whole30. Yes this is a thing. Apparently my body is working very hard to get over my sugar addiction. Usually my body craves sugar and I'm all like "sure, body, that sounds good to me." And then it gets sugar and we're all happy until we're not. Now when my body looks for sugar for energy it doesn't get any so it's been working really hard to find energy other places and my hopes it that it's finding it in fat deposits that it previously stored when it was like "I don't need this energy, I'll just get some sugar and save this for later, preferably in your midsection and that place on your upper arms. That's where it will stay safe." WELL GUESS WHAT BODY: IT'S TIME TO KONMARI THIS ENERGY. YAH FEEL?

Sorry- I got a little worked up there. I'm pretty high energy now that my body is figuring it's shiz out.

ANYWHO: I went rock climbing last night and this could be pure placebo but I felt a lot stronger than I did when I went two weeks ago. I'm also going to a spin class tonight so we'll see if I really am new and improved already.

Wanna see what I've been eating?

It did not take long for me to get sick of eating chicken breasts so I've tried to incorporate different proteins and also different sides because I should probably cut down on my potato intake (even if in my humble opinion potatoes=life. Yah know?)

<< We made chicken meatballs (my favourite Whole30 recipe) 

with spaghetti squash and tomato sauce. It was soooooo good y'all >> 

 << Do I get bonus points if my smoothie matches my yoga pants? >>

 << Okay, so I'm still on those potatoes BUT I also made garlic 

cauliflower mash and it was delicious so at least there's that>>

<< I've really been enjoying using the Whole30 Day by Day book. It really helps guide me 

along and it feels good to have a nightly routine. Especially when that routine includes 

checking off a very self-satifying box that says "I DID IT" each night >>

In other news: 

- I'm watching The End of the F***ing World on Netflix and it's pretty amazing so far. 

- We went to Costco for a few Whole30 things and ended up spending $330. What.The.Frick?

- We're getting our house painted next week and I am be-yond stoked about getting rid of those boring beige walls

- I'm getting my first (and probably only) tattoo next weekend and I am super scared. Anxiety levels have peaked over here. I'm also very excited. That too.

Things are mighty good over here, even if I can't eat honey for another 21 days (but who's counting?)

From the desk of:

Taylor Brown

Human Potato

Whole30 Round 3: My Real Reasons for Doing it and How It's Going

Happy Happy Happy New Year!

I'm not gonna lie: I'm a sucker for new years. I really do love the tradition of fresh starts, reflection and making plans to better yourself. I know people get down on resolutions and the "do or die" attitude that comes with them but I think there's something special about a time of the year when everyone feels a little spark of optimism and motivation. But that's just me.

Over December I was feeling like c-r-a-p. 2017 was the first year in a long time when I feel like I'd lost my motivation for living a healthy lifestyle. I did a running group in the summer and told myself it was going to make get back into running (I used to love to run and would run 5k 2-3 times week) but it actually just burnt me out on running completely. Most important of all: I lost my motivation for healthy eating. I felt like I was finding it harder and harder to practice good habits throughout last year. This led to a year of constantly feeling like I was struggling with eating and exercise.

By Christmas I had decided that I wanted to do a Whole30 this year and not just any Whole30: The January Whole30. Twice a year Whole30 hosts a group Whole30 where they invite anyone to join and follow along on their social media. Every day there are posts and videos sharing how you should be feeling, different recipes, and motivation. I've wanted to do a Whole30 with "the group" for a long time so I figured January Whole30 was as good a time as any. So my first new years resolution was born.

If you don't remember: I did two Whole30s in 2016. My first Whole30 was amazing. I updated this blog every other day with how I was feeling and what I was eating. It was a lot of fun. Tough but fun. My second Whole30 was a lot harder, a lot less fun and midway through I was exhausted but I trucked through. 2017 saw no Whole30s but also a lot less passion for healthy recipes, swaps and experimentation. By then end of 2017 I realized I was ready to do another Whole30 again.

A lot of people call Whole30 a diet and it's not. It's 30 days of eating exclusively whole foods and of cutting wheat, dairy, alcohol, sugar, legumes and sulfites (these are foods that commonly inflame your gut but you can read more about it here). It means I have to spend more time cooking, thinking about my food choices, and making healthy decisions. My main motivation is not just "to stop eating chocolate" as I tell most people. That's my simplified answer. It's really to take time to stop and reevaluate my relationship with food. Being on the Whole30 creates a mindfulness that I often lose when it comes to food. I find a lot of pleasure in food and when I'm on the Whole30 I just don't a lot of the time (to be honest). It's a really great way for me to stop associating food with such pleasure and to focus on the true meaning of food: nourishment. I begin to place less value on the taste of food and more on it's utility: will it keep me full for a long time? I do find ways to get creative though and still make things tasty, just not delicious. When I am not eating for pure pleasure it's also a lot easier for me to recognize when I'm truly full or truly hungery. Whole30 for me is a reset but it's not about clearing my body of toxins and sugars (even though it does). I'm clearing myself of bad habits around food. Oh and I feel ah-maze-ing by the end. Seriously amazing.

Sorry if this is all TMI. I honestly feel a bit weird sharing this with people. I don't usually talk a lot about food or some of my issues with it because its a very touchy a personal subject for me but if someone can relate then I think it's worth my discomfort here.

Okay so: how's it going?

Well I began on January 1, 2018 at midnight. I know.

Getting ready for new years I was pretty stoked to end the year and start a brand shiny new one:

I drank up until 11:59 because I'm a stickler like that. I have to say: I would not recommend starting the Whole30 with a hangover:

<< This is a face covered by fear, regret, and last nights bad decisions >>

It's turned out to be better than my day one self expected. I was more mentally prepared than I knew and I had stocked up on some things I hadn't had my last Whole30 (like compliant BACON). 

My meals have looked a lot like this so far:

There's always some sort of potato on the plate, along with either chicken, bacon or eggs, and I try to get a vegetable in there too.

I also found some complaint guac (YUM) and made the best rosemary roasted almonds:

Tonight I'm making chicken meatballs and spaghetti squash with compliant jarred pasta sauce *praise hands*

I'll keep updating you folks with this Whole30 journey. It's feeling really great so far. I feel like I'm starting 2018 off right and surprisingly I haven't used up all my willpower yet because I almost bought four different things online and stopped myself today so I guess I'm basically perfect now.

From the desk of:

Taylor Brown

Resolution Maker

Book Goals 2018

Every year I make a New Years resolution to read a certain number of books. Sometimes the goal is 15 when I'm feeling especially motivated or sometimes, like this year, it's a modest 12. For the last three years my goal has been to read new books but I'm changing that this year.

I love to re-read my favourite books. Some people read a book and never pick it up again but I'm not one of those people. I love to experience novels again with fresh eyes and fresh experiences. I love to catch things I didn't the first time and I really love remembering what life was like the last time I read that book.

This year my goal is to simply read 12 books, old, new...whatever. I'm excited to give myself the permission to explore some of my old favourites and just let reading be fun, instead of making it a goal I'm working towards.

I'm going to write a post about some of my all time favourite books, some of which I may reread this year. I think it will be a good way to share some amazing books that I don't usually get to share because I only tell you about the books I read of the last year (good or bad). So stay tuned for the motherload of book recommendations!

From the desk of:

Taylor Brown
Book Nostalgist