Joy, or Something Like It

I do not like winter.

I don't like the cold, I don't enjoy hot chocolates, or snow shoe-ing, or skiing, or big puffy jackets and all of the additional winter related fa-shun.

I used to- once upon a time, when I was finished with my day by 3pm and I had the afternoons to feel the sun through the windows while I napped and binged on snack food while watch CSI.

Now I'm more in the category of drive to work in the dark, drive home in the dark, don't leave the house once you get inside of it. Basically, a seasonal hermit.

This change in lifestyle (from relaxed teenager with no idea of what it took to keep that house warm, stocked with junk food and cable ready, to an adult who just wants to feel the sun on her face every once in a damn while) has made it harder for me to get through winter. Some may call is Seasonal Affect Disorder, some may call it the Winter Blues. I've got them.

That's why I can easily convince myself that winter is never going to end (even though it most definitely will) and last month I was able to have a conversation with myself where I decided that nothing in my life brought me any joy.

Now, like I said, I'm wrong about these things, of course. But I was able to tell myself that piece of nonsense and actually believe it, even if it was only for a little while.

Also full disclaimer: I am happy. I know in the grand scheme of my life that I am happy. I love my home, home life and the people and animals who live in it. I generally enjoy my job and I have great friends. I also have a warm house, food to eat and yadda yadda yadda. But I did realize that I wasn't feeling *joy*.

Now, joy is a word we're overusing in this KonMarie world but I don't mean the joy we're supposed to feel when we pick up an item of clothing. I mean the joy of lying in the grass with the sun warming your face, or the joy you feel when you pick up fresh dhalias from the market, or when you feel excitement about meeting up with some friends. The small, inconsequential little joys of everyday life.

So I made a list. I made a list of all of those teeny-tiny things in life that bring me joy. They were simple. They didn't even include the big things in life like the people I love because I don't need reminders about the happiness they bring me. I want to remember the tiny things that make life special. I wrote all those things down, and I'm still writing them down when they come to mind. Just thinking of them makes me feel a little happier.

The next thing I'm going to do is invite those little joys into my life. I want to buy plants and nurture them, I want to grab a big cup of coffee and a good book and sink into the relaxation of a lazy afternoon. And when I'm doing those things I'm going to notice them. I'm going to slowly immerse myself in warmth of them like the feeling you get while lowering yourself into a hot bath.

I know this isn't the cure to the winter blues and this definitely doesn't make up for real, genuine struggles but I think that if we all just took a moment while we're swinging in a hammock listening to the trees, or listening to our favourite songs with our handsin a the warm, soapy dish water and thought to ourselves "hey, this is pretty great" that we could get a small piece of joy and hold on to it, at least for a little bit.

From the desk of:

Taylor Brown
Joy Sparker