A couple weekends ago my roommate Kristina told Erika and I that she was planning on living in B.C for the summer. She was planning to sublet her room but she asked what Erika and I were doing because maybe we could just give up the apartment early.
It was definitely a thought that had crossed my mind a few times. Erika and I talked over the phone and decided that Kristina should email our landlord and just see if that was an option.
My landlord said we could be out by May 15th and then all of a sudden that plan was fully in motion. It was pretty insane.
Erika was in Florida so through limited communication we kept going back and forth with each other asking "Is this what we really want? What are you leaning towards?"
I've never changed my mind so many times in my entire life. Each time I would get set on a decision, I would feel a sort of nostalgia for the other decision. Erika was the same. She would set her decision in stone and question herself. We were both incredibly confused and scared to make the wrong decision, each with it's own pros and cons.
We decided that we had one week to make a decision and my mind and heart were pulled both ways all throughout that week.
By the time Sunday came so many things had changed. Kristina wasn't sure about B.C anymore, Erika had found herself set on one decision, only for us to give her new information and send her back into the decision process, and I was flip-flopping myself.
My decision came down to this: I missed home, which is typical for anyone, but I don't feel like my life really revolves around being in Toronto. I'm here and I'm enjoying it, but I'm also finding myself pulled back home a lot because that's where I love to be, with the people I love. I'm also living a life where I live to work here, something I wouldn't be doing if I were to move home. I'm not happy with working a retail job that I'm miserable at and just scraping by at the end of each month. Furthermore, things have only gotten tighter as the holidays have ended and all my retail shifts have dried up. At this point it just financially makes sense for me to move home.
I want to pay off my school bills and get a car and start saving money. I don't want to scrape by anymore. I want to be able to contribute something to my future home, the one I plan on being able to buy, instead of spending years renting and throwing my money away.
But here is what's great:
I have always said that I wanted to move out and live with my best friend and guess what? I did. And it was an amazing experience. I still love her the same way I did when we moved in. I'm sure I'll miss her like crazy when our bedroom doors aren't down the hall from each other.
Also, I've learned a ridiculous amount about responsibility and being an adult. I think this decision may even be a testament to that. Yes, I'm moving back home, but I'm doing so to further my life in a different way. I don't want to have student debts that I can't pay off and I want to be able to save money and start creating my life.
This was a great year. A great and very hard year, but it was great. I met people, I went out on my own, I learned so many things, and I had fun.
I'm still a child with a chequebook and I'm still going to continue writing about my adult experience. Who knows, there may be countless other people dealing with exactly what I'm dealing with right now as well!
So I am moving on to the next phase in my life without regret. I'm ready for what is coming next and I'll forever look back and smile at every happy, stressful, fun, crazy, and amazing moment that I had in Toronto.
From the desk of:
Taylor Brown
Forever a Child with a Chequebook
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