Well we sure had a lot riding on this year didn't we?
I'll be the first to admit that I had high hopes that when the clock struck midnight that we would be leaving all of the pain and suffering of 2020 behind. It didn't turn out to be so.
Instead we entered the year with another lockdown. We went from having a small bubble to no bubble. It was cold and scary and hard.
I'll just say it: I'm not doing awesome right now. Every day is a struggle. Between working from home, being stuck inside from the cold, being isolated from our families right now, regular old seasonal depression, trying not to each too much, drink too much, sleep too much, complain too much, look at screens too much and seeing the possibility of getting a vaccine seem further and further away, it's been a tough time. Most days feel the same right now. They contain a rollercoaster of emotions and a lot of pain for what we're losing and missing and yearning for. 10/10 would not recommend.
I don't really have a silver lining for this right yet. It just feels good to get it out.
I've know this feeling before- in the past couple of years seasonal depression usually hits me pretty hard around January and February and I tend to be able to convince myself that the current circumstances are never ending. But they do end. And spring comes and a feeling of contentment and happiness grows in me again like a seed. I know that's what's coming on next. So we all just have to keep holding on a little longer.
Until then I'll keep finding sunbeams to bask my face in.
From the desk of:
Taylor Brown
